Welcome to my blog.
Here I post my thoughts and experience on all things life, with an emphasis on self care, energy healing and living with chronic depression.
I welcome your comments and should you find something worth sharing, feel free. I ask only that you credit me and my website as the source.
Warmest wishes and enjoy reading,,
|Posted on 15 January, 2018 at 9:00||comments (2)|
What a simple sentence. It doesn’t sound like such a big deal but I have to admit it was a real inner battle to allow myself to take some time for me these last few weeks.
The battle between knowing a rest is needed while also coping with a house full of illness, children home on their school holidays and a constant self critique and overwhelming inner programming to do, do, do; I have been constantly reminding myself that it is okay to take some time out. That rest is important. But the biggest realisation I've had is how hard I had to battle to get the rest I needed.
Shortly before the Christmas holidays I drew the Rest card for myself when looking for a message from the Angels and both the image and message completely resonated with how I was feeling. For quite some time I had been feeling demotivated, confused and without passion for anything. Mostly a mental confusion and demotivation, I couldn’t seem to make a decision about just what I wanted from life. So searching for advice and guidance I shuffled and dealt the cards and the message I received was to rest.
“Let go of your need to control and take a break. Rest assured your prayers have been heard, and wait for divine timing.”
The imagery on the card was also very relevant to the card’s meaning; the different shades of blue all denoting the many aspects of communication, as well as the pregnant lady resting beneath the roots of the tree. This imagery can denote incubating and giving birth to new life, be it new ideas or creative projects. The tree representing the tree of life and the roots below pointing to where our energy and spiritual nourishment comes from. All the ribbons on the tree showering blessings as well as filtering all the many thoughts, ideas and possibilities that were causing confusion.
The cards had given me the perfect advice. I was trying to force creativity rather than allow it to flow to me. Have you ever tried to do that? I know, it never works. Rather, the perfect solution will come when you don’t expect it. The message in the cards was right, my mind was in control mode and my energy needed to be in rest and receive mode.
So I took some time for myself. It turned out to be an extended break as I clearly hadn’t paid full attention to the message the first time. As much as my intellect understood the need to rest my inner programming just wasn’t getting the message. One of the greatest realisations I’ve had over my break was how much pressure I felt to “get things done” - even when I didn’t know what it was I “needed” to get done; there was just this constant urge that I needed to be busy. Every molecule within my being fought against resting. My mind and my physical body were so intensely programmed to be doing; the extended break I was taking was completely confusing my energy. It really made me pay attention to the battle that was taking place within.
It was a battle for control; a power struggle between my spirit and my mind. But fortunately my spirit won out; and when my mind finally accepted that I was unable to make any important decisions in my current state it let go.
A good friend reminded me of the words “Thy will be done” from the Christian prayer the Our Father and it resonated, so I gave myself over to the energy of my spirit. Rather than focusing on making decisions I focused on listening to my body, my energy. I rested when I needed to rest and I paid attention when I felt the urge to take action; questioning where the origin of the impulse came from. Was I being urged from fear or from a genuine impulse to take action?
It took some getting used to and at times I felt I may end up stuck in a limbo of indecisiveness; but as if on cue, I felt a reignition of my passion and drive return. The answers that had eluded me were at once clear and simple. Every ounce of my being and my energy felt at peace with the decision I was making and I knew that it came from a place of Love and not from fear.
Why am I sharing this with you?
This is a theme that is not unfamiliar to me. I have helped many clients heal through passages of indecision, feeling stuck, loss of passion and demotivation; and yet while I have helped them find the answers they needed to hear; it was very much a case of needing to take my own advice on board -.to walk the talk.
It’s also a recognition for anyone else who is feeling the same way, that taking the time to rest is a valuable exercise (pardon the pun). Rest doesn’t mean that we are avoiding issues in our life. Rest is a very important state for the physical body, the mind, our emotions and for our energy. It is when we are resting that we are in the best state possible to listen to our energy. To hear the impulses and urges of our heart and to listen to the passion of our spirit again.
If you have been avoiding taking time out to rest, consider this post a gentle reminder that if you feel stuck right now, it’s because you’re being encouraged to take a break.
You may be blocked from moving forward until you hear what you’ve been too busy to listen to. Take time to rest and when you do, you’re in the perfect state to receive: be it creativity, imagination or to make a clear and simple decision.
Have you had similar insights before?
What important message were you not hearing and how did it manifest itself for you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories in the comments below.
|Posted on 3 December, 2017 at 9:45||comments (0)|
I am a strong advocate for a holistic approach to healing and well being practices but in today’s fast paced modern world sometimes we expect a little too much too soon from our minds, our bodies and our spirits.
While education, medicine, technology and science have made huge progress over a short space of time, our ability to repair our minds, bodies and souls cannot be fast tracked.
A post I wrote not too long ago “Why Reiki Won’t Heal You,”highlights one of the many ways our current expectations of ourselves have become unreasonable in practice.
Advertising and social media are full of messages about magic pills and schemes to lose weight in weeks; get the perfect abs for summer; get rich quick; in general solve many complicated and chronic problems and issues in a drastically short space of time; while anyone who has genuinely changed their lives around for the better will tell you it didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t easy.
My passion and my own story revolves around living with and healing from the debilitating illness depression. While I view my experience in a positive light now, it didn’t always feel that way.
According to the World Health Organisation and studies across the globe more women are affected by depression than men. In fact 1 in 4 women will suffer from a major depressive episode in their lifetime. Depression is also a highly recurrent disease, with 50% of those who recover likely to have one or more additional episodes and approximately 80% of those with a history of two episodes having another recurrence. On average, individuals with a history of depression will have five to nine separate depressive episodes in their lifetime. For me, this summer marked the FIFTH major depressive episode in my own life since my first chronic depression diagnosis at age 22.
Thankfully, yet again I find myself on the other side; but in the darkest days of my illness I fully felt all the symptoms that overwhelm and debilitate us when we live with depression. I’m not Happy every day, neither am I sad everyday. No matter how I feel, I know this too shall pass. But, what if it doesn’t? Depression, as many who have experienced it, will respect that it is a lot more than simply having a bad day.
It’s hard to say how it begins, but certain feelings will creep up on me. I might feel low in spirit, unhappy or sad for no apparent reason. I feel quite well but perhaps notice an extra sensitivity to other people, be it their comments or a simple look or expression on their face. I sometimes feel afraid but don’t know exactly what it is I’m afraid of. I worry more, and the slightest irritations may cause me to flare up, over reacting to situations that don’t warrant the response.
Physically, I may feel tired. I’ve no energy to get through the day fully. My body can feel achy and I experience more flair ups of pain or headaches and pick up colds and viruses. From July to September, for example I recorded 13 migraine attacks in 70 days.
I withdraw from things, preferring to seclude myself at home. I avoid other people and am afraid to talk to them about how I’m feeling in case they don’t understand or judge me. I’m worried people will think I’m copping out when I make excuses for why I turn down invitations or avoid answering the phone.
I struggle to find any enthusiasm for motivating myself any more than to survive the day, trying to get through the basics of the day such as getting showered, dressed and getting the kids out the door to school. As one client described it to me all you want to do is curl back up into your shell and hide away; and that’s exactly how I felt.
When I admit to my family and friends (usually my husband is the first to know) how I’m feeling; my thoughts will turn to thinking I’ve failed, I’m weak, I’m a fraud. He is always the one to remind me I’ve been here before and I’ll get through it again. Everytime I stumble I get back on my feet.
In the height of the illness I find it hard to believe there is any HOPE. When I feel lost and overwhelmed by the darkness of depression it’s hard to imagine finding the energy to fight it.
The RELIEF when finally I admit there is a problem and seek help and get assistance is wonderful. But this initial relief is fleeting as I begin the slow and steady journey of recovery. This is the truth about healing, the initial visit to the Doctor is not the happy ending to the tale, as this is only the START of the healing journey.
That is exactly what healing is though, it’s a JOURNEY, an experience that must be lived and learned from in order to reach the desired destination. In my journey of healing, it’s about getting back in touch with Emily, recognising who I am underneath the dark cloud of depression. Remembering that I have purpose and meaning for living. Exploring the goals and dreams I have imagined for myself. Realising that I AM loved, needed, wanted and respected. Accepting that it’s okay to fail, to fall down, to make mistakes and that there are people around me who won’t judge or ridicule me, they will hold out their hand and HELP me up. Knowing that every experience I have is teaching me something about myself and about life.
This is why I class depression as having been a positive experience in my life. The episodes of depression are miserable and debilitating but the truths I have learned about myself through my healing journeys have been life affirming. Living with depression and learning to heal from depression have been the best teachers in my life so far.
Depression has taught me:
=> I Love being alive;
=> I matter to people;
=> I can live life fully, no matter the circumstances;
=> I can make a difference to people’s lives;
=> I am worthwhile;
=> my opinion counts;
=> my opportunities to grow and develop as a human being are endless;
=> I have something and someone to continue to live for;
=> I can pick myself up;
=> I can heal;
=> I can learn;
=> I can;
=> I am;
The key to all of these lessons is not because I SUFFERED WITH depression but because I HEALED THROUGH it.
No matter the challenges I or anyone face in life, we each have the opportunity to learn and grow through it. Life is a wonderful teacher; if we allow ourselves to be taught and open ourselves to learn. Great teachers sometimes come in disguise and sometimes you do well because of a great teacher other times you do well in spite of a difficult one - but the truth about healing is that you must ENGAGE with the journey to reach your destination. It’s not easy, it doesn’t happen overnight; you will struggle; but if you allow the experience to be your teacher you will overcome it. The outcome is all in YOUR hands.
You don’t need to be suffering from full blown depression to go on a healing journey, you may feel a lack of direction, or connection or simply be needing to reassess your life and take time for yourself, either way a focus on healing and taking time for yourself is the best place to start.
If you want life to change, you must be the change!
If you are ready to ask for help, then I’m here holding out my hand to help you.
Let’s have a chat and see if we can get you back on track.
Schedule a call with me here, there’s no obligation, just a 30 minute call to see if I can help you or point you in the right direction.
You don’t have to do it alone let’s start your healing journey together.
|Posted on 8 September, 2017 at 9:30||comments (0)|
It used to amaze me, but I believe I have finally become accustomed to hearing stories from people who have experienced a single Reiki healing and tell me “it did nothing for me.” I often wonder if they had a preconceived notion of what Reiki is and how it works, or if the person they received the healing from was marketing it as a “cure all” therapy.
When I first began learning Reiki in Autumn 2005, I wasn’t fully aware of just how popular it had become, as it was still relatively new to me. When I learned how to use Reiki in my life, I was definitely filled with unbridled enthusiasm for all the many wondrous possibilities that access to this healing practice gave me and I certainly felt I could heal the world with my hands, if only the world would open up and let me.
Herein lies the problem; not everyone in the world wants to be healed!
I don’t mean this as a get out clause if a healing session with me doesn’t result in miraculous things. What I do mean is, our understanding of all the many variables that result in illness, dis-ease and imbalance in our lives, is limited; and to believe a single or even three or four sessions with this wonderful energy is going to solve such complicated issues is wishful thinking.
Here’s what I do know from experience. Working with and receiving Reiki energy for me is akin to the feeling of coming home. A love that fills you in it’s entirety; a warmth that seeps into and flows through your bloodstream, bringing peace, comfort and clarity.
In practice, if you do open yourself to the energy of Reiki it places you in a position to allow your physical body’s natural healing ability to flow freely. It allows your busy mind a break from over thinking so you can hear your inner insight, wisdom and knowledge clearly. It allows your emotional energy a space in which to find harmony, and it allows your spiritual self a place to breathe.
It is in the practice of Reiki healing that you identify why you may be blocking your healing.
It is in the practice of Reiki healing that you accept, without denial or judgement the emotions you are feeling.
It is in the practice of Reiki healing that you attribute where, why and what gave rise to these feelings.
It is in the practice of Reiki healing that you learn how you can act upon these feelings (if necessary).
Is Reiki a “cure all” therapy? No! Reiki is a practice that allows you the ability to work with your own energy to find peace, calm and clarity. This is where it has the ability to heal.
If you expect this to happen through a single healing session, then I am sorry to say that Reiki will do NOTHING for you - aside from bring you some peace, calm, relaxation and, with the right healer, some insight if needs be.
If you want to discover the real benefit of Reiki, it lies in opening yourself to the practice of working with Reiki energy as a self care practice.
Have I peaked your interest? Would you like to discover the benefits of Reiki for yourself?
Schedule a call with me to discuss if Reiki is for you.
Schedule your call here:
https://my.timetrade.com/book/6B2QG" target="_blank"> https/my.timetrade.com/book/6B2QG
I look forward to chatting with you!
|Posted on 28 August, 2017 at 10:25||comments (0)|
Did you ever feel that you're stuck in a vicious cycle. You feel exhausted, overwhelmed and miserable and end up making poor choices.
You choose poorly when it comes to nutrition, opting for the faster option of processed food or a take away; your body feels tired and sluggish trying to digest the calories and you don't have the energy for exercise; your inactivity leads to more tiredness and feelings of self rebuke or inner criticism.
Stress brought on by your feelings leads to more exhaustion, overwhelm and continual poor choices. You know better, you know what you need to do to feel better, but the exhaustion and the vicious cycle you're in seems to make taking that step harder and harder each time.
Perhaps every now and then you have implemented a change; better nutrition, introduced some exercise or taken some time out to relax and destress, but it doesn't seem to work and you end up back in the same cycle again.
I think we've all been there. I know I certainly have and it can be hard to notice that I am STUCK until I feel the effect of the poor choices I've made.
The good news is that it is possible to break the cycle. It takes effort, it takes a willingness to say NO to poor choices; but also the freedom to say YES to ourselves too.
Self rebuke and inner criticism does not help and it won't motivate you into action; but ACTION is the key.
One small step to break the cycle, repeated consistently can help you to introduce better choices, leading to more energy, leading to more exercise, leading to a healthier body and a healthier mindset, leading to feeling good again.
It doesn't happen overnight, but neither did the spiral into the cycle that's been playing on repeat in your life.
For me the one small step I've been repeating and that has helped me to break the vicious cycle I found myself in this summer was taking time each and every day to practice self healing (Reiki & Rahanni energy healing) - anywhere between 8 and 15 minutes each morning. It made a huge difference to my mindset, to my motivation and to how I was feeling about myself and my life.
Are you stuck in a cycle that it NOT helping?
What small step can you implement into your day that will make a difference to how you feel?
Have you already begun to make changes?
If you want to see change in your life, YOU must be the change!
|Posted on 27 August, 2017 at 10:05||comments (0)|
Stress builds up in our lives when we forget to take the time out of our busy schedule to allow our energy to rebalance. When we deny ourselves time to relax, not just rest, but relax deeply.
True relaxation gives our body time to heal, it gives our cells time to regenerate, it gives our minds time to be quiet and our emotions time to release.
Today, I've made a special effort to take it easy.
There are still things that need to get done, but I'm not rushing from one thing to another as I have done in the recent past. I've also reversed my normal self care routine starting the day with a 15 minute Reiki Self Healing session before any thing else and it made a wonderful difference to my day.
When I need to take time to relax my top tools are Angel Cards and Energy Healing.
Angel Cards act like oracles, rather than divining the future they give insight and guidance, helping me to find clarity and focus:
An Angel card reading helps me to:
- identify factors blocking my self care,
- recognise strengths I already possess,
- provide suggestions to enhance my self care experience,
- give insight to help me succeed with challenges.
I also use energy healing for helping me to balance the busy and address my mental and emotional self care needs. Reiki and Rahanni self care practice helps me to awaken my energy, rebalance my mood and address any tension and pain.
Using energy healing as a self care practice has helped me to:
- rebalance the energy of my mental, emotional and physical bodies,
- bring relief to physical or mental/emotional stress,
- provide insight into self care blocks or self sabotage,
- release tension, pain, frustration or any energies that no longer feel good.
I have learned from experience how important it is to balance all our doing with some time to simply be and let ourselves receive energy.
Do you make time for yourself in your busy day?
What have you done to relax today?
I would love to hear your top tips and what tools you use for self care and well being and what you find helpful in your busy day.
If you want your life to change, you must be the change.